Digital Downloads

There's this cat that just follows me around the house, I don't know why but he won't use his words to tell me what he wants.



Last night, I got my new laptop! It was not easy; we were shopping online for a bit but when we got to the store, they didn't have anything under $600 that wasn't lousy.

We went across the street and found more choices, so that was good. It isn't exactly what I wanted (there was a $350 option that looked fine and even had a number pad, but it was sold out), but it's still more exciting than our desktop which is more than I need, really.

No number pad :( Oh well, I'll have to finish learning how to type. I quit at numbers and symbols and told myself I'd never need to use them blindfolded. Oh well.

Awww man I can't believe how many pink laptops there are out there... at the risk of being a stereotype, I have to admit I wanted one. Just because it was different. And had a number pad. And cool texture. And a nice keyboard. And it was pink instead of gun metal grey. But you know I didn't want it badly enough to spend $800+ on it.

It's not ready for me yet (it's still a bit skeletal) but I'm so tickled over the concept that I decided to make a digital download, cutting out a few pieces from my paintings (not literally) and putting them together in a file you can use for scrapbooking, digital art journaling or whatever!



Here's a quick digital journal page using the photoshop file with transparent layers (probably easiest option):


I had fun with the downloads from Journaling Deep and thought I'd Pay It Forward. This is for personal use only.

Oh and I was a total jackass and didn't label any of the layers on the photoshop file. So you get to shuffle them around to find out which layer you want. Sorry about that. It's large, but easiest because then you don't have to cut them out from the background :)

Follow the link to a filesharing website! Click "Download" near the top! There is also a print option if you want to print it out directly from there.

Photoshop File With Transparent Layers (19MB)

PDF File on a White Background (159KB)

JPG File on a White Background (933.3KB)

Enjoy.

Step by Step - Cosmic Shower

From the Etsy Listing: "Sometimes, it feels like I am caught in a cosmic wave of fortune and that the entire universe is looking down at me and smiling. This painting is sort of a part two of "Gifts From the Universe", because that is what this feels like. I want to collect all of these gifts and hoard them for myself because I know that one day, they will vanish. Do you save up for a rainy day? Or do you spend every gift fast and feverishly, living in the moment?

I don't know. I want to save them and enjoy them, but I also wish to share them with others who aren't feeling quite so lucky. To spread it around."



I really wasn't sure if I wanted to make this. I expected it to be really lousy, actually. But you have to get the lousy ideas out before any good ones come in. I worked on a small piece of paper because I feel less pressure with them.

Oh, and I lost my kneaded eraser and had no idea how awful it is not to have one! haha.



Threw in colour really quickly here.



Darkened some lines and shadows.



Coloured in some flowers, still a bit skeptical about the whole thing.



Layered some more flowers under the other ones. This is where it gets kind of tedious and I have more memories of whatever was playing on tv than anything else! All I can think of is star trek looking at this now... yeesh.



Threw on some background colour and quit for the night.



Available here.

I added some more layers and cut out some extra flowers to "stick out" from the page because I kind of like it and it matches up with last year's "Gift" painting.

Journal post - 01/26/12

I'm having a heck of a time writing onto these pages because the ink keeps soaking in and turning "hazy". Oh well.



Stencils with lindy spray, the white sharpie paint pen I no longer love. I think I'm going back to the oil based ones because this water based paint pen just soaks in and disappears most of the time. It worked fine on this background though!



Another piece from Journaling Deep that I stuck on and used to write the date. Next to it is some kind of pastry from the page I'm working on (it's a magazine page), I just painted around it. The pastry has a cool texture because it's "spraypainted" with coloured chocolate! The more you know.



Painted over a note I found. Don't remember what it was. A map to someplace?

The Art of Journaling

I wasn't expecting such a response to that last one and now I feel a little sheepish. *Ahem*. Thanks for coming in!

Speaking of giving up...

I know I mention all of these things somewhat frequently, but bear with me. The other day, I considered quitting art journaling. For reasons like:

- These books take up way too much space and there will only be more and more of them.
- I have been disappointed by the process lately and don't put much effort into it.
- I don't get to write as much, and if I have something to write about but no page ready, art journaling becomes a chore.


Love this rainbow journal! I covered it entirely with stamps.

But I still like them. They are more interesting to flip through than the written ones. Sometimes I can't even read the written ones.


Started pasting things in after a while. Yeah, I guess I wrote about a murder. Huh. Welcome to the neighbourhood!

The thing is, there is some pretty cool stuff out there! Like... journals are waaayy cooler now than they were in high school. I can't tell you how often I go into a store and see some sweet imported japanese whatever and think "If I wasn't art journaling, I could be journaling in this book!"


A discounted LOTR journal. It's covered with leaves and several coats of paint that kept chipping off.

Like this! The teenage me would be all over this.


I wanted books that had interesting papers. Gorgeous covers with harsh black lines inside just disappoint me.

Written journals have more story to them. I just flipped through two pages that described in detail a horrible thing that happened at work and feel like... maybe that was therapeutic. In my art journal I have limited space and an unpleasant surface to write on. But maybe it's also better to be vague and to the point?


Hello sixteen year old me!

I don't know, I'm just going to keep on keeping on. Maybe all those nice books I find could make decent sketchbooks?


If I don't find anything with nice papers, I bought plain notebooks and then recovered them.

So we have the idea that it might be cool if I had my own laptop instead of using the slow one John borrows from work. I'm finding it extremely difficult to justify such a baseless purchase when my camera is slowly dying and I might want to get a car someday... or something. Or maybe my cat will keel over soon. Who knows?



But I am also intrigued by the idea of having my own personal computer space for the first time in my life. With a built in cam/microphone which would be cool for skyping. Or anything. And the thought that I might just be paranoid about money. Yeah. Just a little.

Rain Cloud

I'm not sure about this one. But it's been so long since I've gotten my hands dirty that I have to accept this cloud with open arms. *Cartman voice* He's just a boy.

The truth is (and this could be useful information to the world), I forced myself to paint this for submission to UPPERCASE magazine... which is exactly why I am unsure of it as I doubt that they would appreciate this.

But I sent it anyway. Because I don't know what is going on behind the scenes. It's a fairly popular-sounding mag, so there are probably going to be plenty of submissions for them to choose from, but I don't know that for sure.

It is the same philosophy that artists use to apply for grants. Even if it's for a tiny amount of money, apply for it! Because everyone else is already looking at it thinking "oh it's so little, what's the point of all that work", that you could be the ONLY person applying and thus, win by default. I'm pretty sure I won a scholarship that way.

Same goes for job applications. Most of them have those heavy requirements up there to scare away fairweather applicants. Maybe no one has those requirements. Maybe you will be the only one to even try for it.



I'm writing this way because I hear negative sentiments even from my most favourite online art stars.

"...That's why I closed my etsy shop... I'm so scared of failing again in that respect, I won't even try."

Not trying is the only way to guarantee failure. I think it hurts me, not only to see my favourite people feel that way, but also the message it conveys. Especially if they are actually somewhat successful in their trials. What does that say for me? I don't have nearly as large a fan base or as many regular publications or my own stamp line. Does this mean I should be giving up?



Sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I do this because I enjoy it. If I was blogging for the sake of comments I would have given up ten years ago. If I was on etsy for the sales alone, I wouldn't have even stuck around long enough for the first one. That certainly puts things in perspective for me. That there could be another version of me somewhere that does nothing creative and just washes dishes and watch tv all day.

*shudder*

Heck, I would rather be a spectacular failure than someone who never tried anything ever. I have rejection letters from times I sent out terrible manuscripts to agents and publishers back in the day.

I actually really love those rejection letters. Go figure.

Journal post - 01-23-12

End of Cookie week

It's over! Cookies all packed up in cute little boxes and cupcakes were finished this morning. What an emotional roller coaster! I dropped lots of things today.



j: So what colour wrappers do you-

*crash! plink! plink!*

j: ... did you just knock over your sprinkles?

me: YES. HELP.



I found this project at work to be super frustrating. It felt like swimming against the current a lot of the time. I was in a kitchen full of people all hoping I would fail, so that they could take the cookies and cakes for themselves. We had to keep sending for more eggs because the staff would eat them all. Two dozen eggs in two days. I brought my own eggs and they ate those too. A hundred or so extra cookies and cakes weren't enough - it seems like the cupcakes barely made it!



I think that's why I so welcomed the help I got in the end, even if it did mean delaying the cupcakes and coming in early AGAIN. It was refreshing to have someone on my side for once - a life preserver in a sea full of sharks.