Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Rain Cloud

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I'm not sure about this one. But it's been so long since I've gotten my hands dirty that I have to accept this cloud with open arms. *Cartman voice* He's just a boy.

The truth is (and this could be useful information to the world), I forced myself to paint this for submission to UPPERCASE magazine... which is exactly why I am unsure of it as I doubt that they would appreciate this.

But I sent it anyway. Because I don't know what is going on behind the scenes. It's a fairly popular-sounding mag, so there are probably going to be plenty of submissions for them to choose from, but I don't know that for sure.

It is the same philosophy that artists use to apply for grants. Even if it's for a tiny amount of money, apply for it! Because everyone else is already looking at it thinking "oh it's so little, what's the point of all that work", that you could be the ONLY person applying and thus, win by default. I'm pretty sure I won a scholarship that way.

Same goes for job applications. Most of them have those heavy requirements up there to scare away fairweather applicants. Maybe no one has those requirements. Maybe you will be the only one to even try for it.

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I'm writing this way because I hear negative sentiments even from my most favourite online art stars.

"...That's why I closed my etsy shop... I'm so scared of failing again in that respect, I won't even try."

Not trying is the only way to guarantee failure. I think it hurts me, not only to see my favourite people feel that way, but also the message it conveys. Especially if they are actually somewhat successful in their trials. What does that say for me? I don't have nearly as large a fan base or as many regular publications or my own stamp line. Does this mean I should be giving up?

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Sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I do this because I enjoy it. If I was blogging for the sake of comments I would have given up ten years ago. If I was on etsy for the sales alone, I wouldn't have even stuck around long enough for the first one. That certainly puts things in perspective for me. That there could be another version of me somewhere that does nothing creative and just washes dishes and watch tv all day.

*shudder*

Heck, I would rather be a spectacular failure than someone who never tried anything ever. I have rejection letters from times I sent out terrible manuscripts to agents and publishers back in the day.

I actually really love those rejection letters. Go figure.

15 comments:

Kelly Kilmer said...

"Sometimes I have to remind myself that I do this because I enjoy it."

I can totally relate to this entire post. Art should always be about the creating. I think it's definitely something that ALL of us struggle with.

Your post is well said and from the heart, just like your cloud painting. If I could frame this blog post, I would.

Brian Kasstle said...

I found your blog and this wonderful blog post from Kelly Kilmer's blog. You hit the nail on the head and your post resonates so much with me today! Thank you!

Melissa said...

Aw, thanks guys. Have some hearts! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Connie Lutz said...

Everything you wrote is soo true! I get so intimidated by the blank white page/canvas, I will walk away to build up the courage. Thanks for the reminder that creating is FUN!

Susan Stokinger said...

I enjoyed your art which I found to be very intriguing and your post very honest. I will go try to bust some barriers. Thanks! Susan

Melissa said...

Thanks for coming in! Sometimes blank pages hit me too, but depending on what you're using you can just "ruin" it by splashing on a colour. Or writing something! Or sticking down a piece of pretty paper!

Hagit said...

Hi, I also found you through Kelly Kilmer, and I needed to be reminded now. Thanks! :)

Tania said...

Hi Melissa
Your blog post is so true. I have to remind myself this on a daily basis. What would I have, if I did not 'create'?
Many thanks for a great post.

Anonymous said...

I found you through Kelly Kilmer, and yes you are just so right. When you do things for the sake of doing them, not for the result, you have fulfillment. Let what you love to do speak for you (I think the last bit is a Rumi quote). Karen xx

Caatje said...

A wonderful post and rings very true to me. Also love your work! Will be checking the rest of your blog now.

Evelin said...

Thanks for the reminder :)
I dropped by from Kelly's page :) Yeah, I do have to consciously remind myself that I'm doing what I'm doing because I enjoy it... and grow from there ;)

Barbara said...

Kelly sent me too. When Kelly speaks and tells us where to go...we do it!

I love your Rain Cloud and your insightful words. I've had that experience you describe so well.

I've been procrastining for days on a project I am afraid to take the next step on. Thanks to your post, I'm just going to go do it right now!

Anonymous said...

Kelly sent me. We can all relate. If we can just remember why we do it, the fear will disappear.

We do it because it is part of who we are. We do it because to not do it would be to deny ourselves. We do it because it keeps us sane.

We do not do it because of others, we do it in spite of them.

And on those days when we struggle to find creativity, it helps to simply throw something on that page or that canvas . . . no matter what it is.

I love your post!

Rachel

Sandy said...

Your painting is beautiful. I love your post. I too was sent by Kelly.

Allan Jones Buys Alvin C York Painting said...

This page really caught my eye!! Love the berries and the liveliness of the reds. Very sharp and appealing combination.