Thursday, June 14, 2012
This canvas had been hanging out on our living room floor for a while, getting kicked around and apparently chewed on by cats. So I painted over it with the plan to decorate my balcony. But I don't know if I like it enough.
I've always been a self-conscious, paranoid type person, and the reason I don't go out on my balcony or even leave the drapes open on the windows is because the outdoors is so... exposed. It always feels like there are a million people watching, judging and laughing at everything I do!
You see, us kids grew up in a little neighbourhood of spies. If I left my window blinds open, I'd see our neighbours stare in through the windows as they were walking by. It creeped me out. Yet no one actually knew each other. As a child I remember being accused of breaking into my own house (I often forgot my key). As a teenager I had nervous security guards try to escort me out of the neighbourhood because they didn't think I belonged there. Everyone was afraid of everyone else.
It's weird that I have no problem hanging my art on walls in schools and galleries, but outdoors is a whole other ballgame.
I'm going to find some climbing nasturtiums and encourage them to cover the entire balcony so that no one can see inside! Yes. But I think the one I found yesterday is just a regular nasturtium. It tastes like postage stamp glue and radishes!